tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38329684847964174592024-03-13T20:10:51.461-07:00Thoughts per CoffeeJust Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-77635884899309313372023-10-07T11:16:00.004-07:002023-10-08T10:08:36.528-07:00For(now) FamilyAs a child and young woman the thing I wanted most was a strong, faithful, Mormon family. A family that prayed together and shared a strong belief in the Mormon Church together. <a href=""></a><blockquote>
</blockquote><div>I always felt I was missing something. I would attend church and hear things like your family needs to have a strong head of household, a father, who holds the priesthood. Otherwise your family will be in chaos and destruction and will never be a "<a href="https://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2014/03/families-are-forever-unless.html" target="_blank">Forever Family</a>".</div><div><br /></div><div>I didn't have what a lot of my friends, in my close knit Mormon community, had. They had a mother and a father who went to church, held important callings, and followed the teachings of the prophet. As a result of this, I would insert myself into the families, that to me fit the definition of a forever family. </div><div><br /></div><div>I took on the burden of helping my family become a faithful, forever family. It was hard work for a child and young person to be responsible for everyone's salvation. I came to love and resent my family at the same time. In trying to create a perfect forever family I created distance between me and family, mostly my '<a href="https://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/02/saving-dad.html" target="_blank">unworthy father</a>'.</div><div><br /></div><div>Fast forward a lot of years. I feel I have lived many lives, and gone through my share of hardships. I have come out the other side of these challenges a much wiser, kinder, loving person. I am no longer a member of a toxic religion dividing families and teaching hate and intolerance. I allow myself to love my family, my now family. I realize what freedom and support my family has given me to live in the happiness I now have.</div><div><br /></div><div>I listen to the stories of friends who have chosen to leave the church, to think for themselves, to have an authentic, wonderful life for themselves only to lose the love and support of their 'forever family'. To be separated from their eternal family unit. The trauma and the baggage they have to overcome because their parents and siblings won't associate with them or they pity them or see them as someone they need to be wary of. I feel like their journey to wholeness and happiness is more difficult than mine. </div><div><br /></div><div>I feel fortunate, and I'm so glad I never had the ideal forever family of my dreams. Because I would have lost my for(now) family. No longer chasing rainbows and living for the next life. I cherish and love the family and friends I have now.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-49437763361594428122018-08-18T06:50:00.000-07:002020-04-27T06:42:37.137-07:00The Patriarchal Grip<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been out of the Mormon church since 1995, 23 years now. This experience happened to me in 1995 and I'm pretty sure there has been no policy change in the church. I'm pretty sure the church still protects their reputation and their men more than they protect women and children who are in abusive situations. Shame on any entity that rallys around perpetrators of abuse putting women and children in danger.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">First written in 2013, re-posted in 2018.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When asked why I left the Mormon Church I often don't have a fast and easy answer. There was no single reason I left. There was a lifetime of experiences, a lot of personal study, a lot of truth seeking then one day I found that my questions were bigger than the answers. I found my time in church on Sunday was no longer uplifting it had become a place where I was drained of every ounce of my strength. My leaving didn't happen over night it happened over years. There were definitely some defining moments that made leaving easier. Each of those moments were like a straw that I would put into a basket. One of these straws would be the 'last straw' and the camels back would break.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The following experience is one of those defining moments. Not a reason for my leaving as much as a clarifying moment when I thought 'why the hell should I stay'. Another straw to add to the basket, a basket already packed full.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">First the story leading up to the event.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"...as your stake president I don't feel I can sign your recommend today. It's clear you don't sustain the leaders and you don't believe in the main tenants of the gospel."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What I am trying to tell you, President Marshall, is that though I respect the church leadership I would just like to see the church, and the leadership, take a stronger stance on domestic violence... I know of individuals in my ward who deal with spousal abuse and child abuse in their homes and they are getting no support from the church."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The door to the office shut behind me and it hit me that, for the first time in my life, I was being denied the approval I needed to enter the Temple to practice one of the most important principals of my religion. I was a bit stunned and shaken up by this interaction I had just had. I stood in one place for a very long time trying to comprehend what had just happened. How can one man have this kind of control over my life?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I thought about my conversation with President Marshall; about the problem of domestic violence in the church, I recalled a conversation with my friend Karen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Wow Karen, has anyone else read your journals? I had no idea you and the kids were going through this. Why don't you leave?"</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Craig will find me." Karen tells me; her hands visibly shaking. "He said if I leave he will find me and the kids and we will pay for it. I'm pregnant again and I do not want to put another child in this situation. My therapist at LDS Social Services has read my journals and has heard everything. He thinks I should stay and make it work. But it's not going to work."</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I can't believe anyone at LDS Social Services would read this and tell you to stay. Your therapist must be a crazy person."</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm going to leave as soon as the baby is born. It will be summer and the kids will be out of school. My job will be changing and I can transfer to another city."</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"You need to involve the police; this is serious stuff Karen. I don't know if you are safe waiting it out."</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I think I'll be okay; Craig is working nights and is only home when we are all away. I don't want to call the police until the kids and I are safe."</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Two weeks after my initial interview with the stake president I tried again; and every two weeks for the next six months. Each interview proving to be more frustrating than the previous one. For some reason President Marshall has an issue with me and somehow believes I'm not worthy because, as he sees it, I don't sustain the leaders.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Who is the head of your household Jill?" President Marshall asks during one of our interviews. "Is your husband at the head of your household?" My reply was evidently not what he wanted to hear. "Both my husband and I are at the head of our household. It's important to both of us that we lead together and our children see us as equals." I paused, then I asked "President Marshall did you receive a letter from Elder Marion D Hanks on my behalf?" I knew he had because I had written Elder Hanks a few weeks previous explaining the situation and asking him if he thought what the stake president was basing his decision on was a legitimate issue. I had received a copy of the letter Elder Hanks had written to the stake president urging him to reconsider his stance. Elder Hanks wrote <i>...I know Jill and I know her heart. I vouch for her worthiness and her honest desire to go to the Temple.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">President Marshall folded his hands on the desk in front of him. "I did receive his letter and my decision stays the same. It's obvious to me you have a problem with patriarchy and if you don't honor the Priesthood you are not sustaining our leaders and you are not worthy of a temple recommend." I was astonished. "I can't believe, President, that because I am speaking up for women and children who are being abused and violated that you are concluding I am unworthy. We have been meeting for six months and I still have no recommend. What do I have to do in order to prove my worthiness and get your signature on this piece of paper?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now going on nine months and many interviews later, I am in the church foyer waiting to talk to President Marshall. I'm a little uncomfortable because Craig, the abusive husband of my friend Karen, is also waiting for an interview. I'm not sure if Craig knows of my friendship with his wife. I'm pretty sure he doesn't; Karen would be the last person to let on that anyone knew of the situation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Are you waiting to talk to President Marshall" Craig asks. "Yes, you too I suppose." Craig flashes his Temple Recommend. "Yes, waiting to get my recommend signed; just got the Bishop's signature." I distract myself hoping to end the conversation with this vile man. First of all I can't believe with what the Bishop knows about Craig that he would sign his recommend. Karen has met with the Bishop, as well as her therapist at LDS Social Services, many times seeking advice only to be told to do what it takes to make her marriage work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why do I even care, I think to myself, this experience has been horrible I can't believe these men are inspired. Well maybe President Marshall will withhold Craig's recommend. I can't imagine he would sign his recommend seeing how he has given me such a difficult time. It doesn't take inspiration to figure out that Craig is a total douchebag.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The door to the Stake President's office opens and Craig walks in and, no kidding, twenty minutes later walks out with a signed recommend. "Must be my lucky day" Craig says as he gives me a look that somehow tells me he knows of my friendship with his wife. My stomach wrenches and I have to look away. The irony of the situation is baffling to me. Here I am, for close to a year now, trying to get my recommend signed and the reason I can't get it signed just walked out of the president's office with a little slip of paper stating his worthiness is greater than mine in the eyes of President Marshall, ergo the church, ergo God. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My thoughts are racing; President Marshall obviously doesn't know Craig. Craig must have lied saying whatever it took to get his recommend signed. They aren't difficult questions after all. Yes, yes, yes, no, yes... the answers are simple enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I walked into the President's office and see the man who I have been contending with for the last several months in a strange new light. For the first time I notice the framed license on his wall stating he is a licensed therapist working for LDS Social Services. This is too coincidental, I think, I'll have to ask Karen who her therapist is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"You know Brother Planter?" President Marshall asks. "Yes he is in my ward. I'm good friends with his wife Karen; we know each other quite well." My reply seems to strike a chord with him and for some unexplained reason I leave his office that day with my recommend signed. 'Must be my lucky day.'</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The recommend in my hand didn't seem like a gift or a prize it seemed like a worthless slip of paper. I wanted to wad it up and throw it into the trash. So much had happened over the last year. Karen had a baby boy and was still planning her escape from an abusive marriage. I had made my own self discoveries and was dealing with the idea of being gay and still remaining in my marriage and the church. I laughed as I thought about what President Marshall might think if he knew that story. By this time I had figured out that these men who had jurisdiction over my worthiness didn't need to know everything about me. Besides it was not a sin to BE gay only to ACT gay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">At least now I can go to the Temple with Linda. Linda had been telling me how she wanted me to go with her because she was doing work for her ancestors. I guess I could muster the spirituality to go with Linda this week; ward temple day was on Saturday. I left the President's office and headed down the hallway to attend Relief Society meeting. I sat down next to Karen. "Karen, who is your therapist?" I asked. It didn't surprise me when she told me it was President Marshall. I didn't hear a word of the lesson that day... something about charity or some such thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Linda and I met on Saturday morning and headed up to the Temple. My heart wasn't completely in it but I knew it was important to Linda and I thought I could dig down deep and create a spiritual experience. We arrived at the Temple and eventually made our way to the room where we would be for the next hour or so to participate in, what is considered by believing Mormons, a sacred ritual.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fast forward to the end of the session where they ask for people to go to the front of the room and stand in a circle for a prayer. Linda, myself and several others walked up front and stood at the alter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In way of explanation for those not familiar with the ceremony. There needs to be an equal number of men and women in the circle so when there is a man or a woman by themselves, without a person of the opposite sex with them, they will call someone up from the group to balance the numbers. Male, female, male, female around in a circle the man to the right and the women to the left in couples. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On this occasion I am without a male partner. The man conducting the session asks for a male volunteer to stand with me in the prayer circle.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, you may think I'm making this up but I'm not; this really happened. I'm standing there waiting for someone to come stand with me in the prayer circle and up walks... wait for it... wait for it... yes, you're right up comes Craig. What are the chances I guess it was 'my lucky day'. Up to this point I hadn't noticed him, but now here I am standing next to him in the prayer circle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hear the officiator say "If any of you have unkind feelings about anyone in the circle we ask that you withdraw..." What do I do, I do not like this man I have VERY unkind feelings towards him. Oh well, pretend... just like you have been doing all of your life... pretend. After a few more words we are asked to take the hand of the person next to us in a symbolic grip called the 'patriarchal grip' (Ironic ~ right?).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wanted to leave the circle. I wanted to stand up for Karen, and all the women like her, and somehow call Craig out for all of the physical and sexual abuse he had perpetrated on his family. But I didn't. I stood there with Craig to my right holding my hand in the patriarchal grip. I'm not sure if he was aware that I knew what kind of a man he was, but somehow I think he did know and this was his way of being in control and having a bit of power over me. If I did sit down he would know for sure that Karen had told me things and this might put her in danger so I suppose pretending was the best thing to do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The prayer circle finished up and we proceeded to the next part of the temple session. Eventually Linda and I are in the Celestial room where on a more typical day I would have felt calm and peace. Now I'm feeling very uncomfortable and all I want to do is run from the room screaming. I quickly exit and return to the safest place in the Temple; the ladies locker room.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Somehow, in that moment, I knew this would be my last visit to the Temple. The patriarchal grip was loosening.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-90366405716959641222018-05-07T07:15:00.000-07:002018-05-07T07:34:10.842-07:00Introduction to 9 Star Ki<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/05/9-star-ki-calculator.html" target="_blank">Calculate</a> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Your 9 Star Ki</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have learned about 9 Star Ki from a talented teacher and mentor <a href="http://www.wisdomofyourface.com/" target="_blank">Jean Haner</a>. Jean teaches workshops and has authored books on the subject. Her latest book is ‘<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Your-Hidden-Symmetry-Birth-Reveals/dp/1401942423" target="_blank">Your Hidden Symmetry</a>’. You can learn so much from what Jean offers on her website and in her free <a href="http://www.wisdomofyourface.com/index.html" target="_blank">newsletter</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I tend to do; I take what I learn through workshops, research and my own life’s experience sprinkle it with inner knowing and come up with my own way of applying this wisdom to my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Understanding who we are through 9 Star Ki can help us create balance and health in our lives. For me it’s about energy and balance. Think in terms of the light side and the shadow side of the mountain or the brightest day and the blackest night. Think less in terms of good and bad or positive and negative it’s more about balance and differences; the Yin and Yang. Our challenges and our emotions are all a perfect expression of our health both physical and mental; a compass guiding us to center and well-being.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">9 Star Ki gives us a map and a guidebook to who we are, who others are and how we interact. When we are in balance things flow easily and when out of balance we will find ourselves stuck.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Ki, or energy, exists in both time and space. It moves, it is inner connected and just like day moves to night and spring moves to summer; there is a cycle and a pattern. Consider for a moment the planet, the seasons, and the day. On one side of the planet it is summer while on the opposite side of the planet it is winter. In the summer the day is long and in the winter the night is long. The energy of the day shifts as we move from morning to night. When I consider all of these things I think of balance and order. The force behind it all is energy.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The stars and planets are part of this energy as is the tiniest seed in my backyard. I love to look up into the night sky and see the big dipper; I’ve watched it throughout the year making its way from one side of the sky to the other as the seasons change the Big Dipper unceasingly and reliably follows the same pattern year after year. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The beautiful cherry tree in my backyard also has a reliable and balanced pattern. In the winter its naked; it’s branches reaching into the grey sky, in spring it bursts with beautiful pink blossoms that are gorgeous against the blue sky, in the summer the leaves create a canopy sheltering me from the hot sun and in the fall it’s leaves turn brown and fall to the ground feeding and protecting the soil beneath it. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can experience both the Big Dipper and the cherry tree from the deck in my own backyard. It doesn’t matter that one is far and the other is right before me. I enjoy the cycles of both, I am impacted by the beauty of both.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Energy, like the Big Dipper and the cherry tree, is both near and far from us. Energy is reliable and beneficial within those cycles. Like the tree in my backyard the seasons affect it yet the way the tree exists within the seasons has a purpose and an effect on the world around it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The energy, both near and far, influences each of us. The theory of 9 Star Ki determines that everything moves in cycles of 9. The universe is moving in its cycle of nine (like the Big Dipper) and you are moving within your own cycle of nines (like the cherry tree). Where you are in this cycle is determined by the principal number of your 9 Star Ki. Your principal number is determined by your birthdate. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Your 9 Star Ki is made up of three numbers the first, as we have discussed, is your principal number and it gives us insight into how you ‘do’ in the world. The second number is your character number. The influence of your character number is who we are in the world. To explain it further; the second number is your emotional self, it’s often explained that this is your ‘child’ self. This is the energy you go to under stress. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When you are stressed what emotion do you typically feel? Anger, fear, anxiety, worry; do you want, more than anything, for things to be fair. These emotions are a result of the second number’s influence.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The third number is your energetic number. This is the energy most apparent to people when they first meet you. It is the ‘suit’ you put on to accomplish your life’s destiny and your life’s challenges.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Each number in the 9 Star Ki gives us insight into how we 'do' in the world, who we are in the world and how others see us in the world. The combination of the three numbers tells us many things about our nature and gives us information about our abilities and possible short comings.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When we are in balance we work the qualities of our elements towards the greater good. When we are out of balance we can become angry, anxious, nervous, fearful or stuck. We can be aware of our challenges and our patterns making simple shifts to keep things flowing.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have put together an excel file that will calculate your 9 Star Ki and will give you a little information about your combination and each of your individual numbers. I have used <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Feng-Shui-Astrology-Jon-Sandifer/dp/0345422651" target="_blank">Jon Sandifer's book</a> to share some of the characteristics of each number.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/05/9-star-ki-calculator.html" target="_blank">Calculate </a>Your 9 Star Ki</span><o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/p/contact-1.html">Contact me</a> for more information on 9 Star Ki</span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-39551723744693639962015-05-22T07:15:00.000-07:002015-05-22T07:15:41.206-07:00More on Gay Marriage<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have been away from my blog for a long time. Sometimes I have to retreat from my own rants and raves and just relax a bit.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought I would look through comments on prior posts to see if it ignited any writing ideas. I realized that there were a couple of comments that I have never replied to.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There was one comment left by someone I respect very much, C. L. Hanson, she posts regularly on her blog, '<a href="http://lfab-uvm.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Letters From a Broad</a>', and she is one of the founders and keepers of a community blog, <a href="http://mainstreetplaza.com/2015/05/17/sunday-in-outer-blogness-survey-says/" target="_blank">'Main Street Plaza</a>', that I read. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wanted to take the time to reply to chanson's comment and apologize that it took over two years.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The post was written in March of 2013, '<a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-gay-marriage-battle.html" target="_blank">The Gay Marriage Battle</a>'. There were some excellent comments on this post. I enjoyed the dialogue.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">C. L. Hanson April 8, 2013 at 3:50 AM</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I totally disagree that "the definition of marriage belongs to church". While religions are free to attach whatever religious significance they like to it, marriage was not invented by or for any religion.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jeremy is right that in many other countries people are required to have a civil ceremony in order to be legally married (and then they can also have whatever additional religious ceremony they like). It works great -- people typically do the two on the same day, and have their secular friends serve as witnesses for the legal ceremony and their religious friends serve as witnesses for the religious ceremony.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think it is inappropriate that the United States grants religious ceremonies the legal/civil status to make a marriage legally-binding. It confuses people into thinking that marriage is under the jurisdiction of religion, and that therefore religions should have a say in legal/civil aspects of the lives of people who belong to other religions or are non-religious.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>'...it is inappropriate that the United States grants religious ceremonies the legal/civil status to make a marriage legally-binding.'</i> </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I agree that it would work much better to have a civil marriage (as the legal ceremony) followed by the religious, or other, ceremony of one's choosing. The idea that a civil ceremony is required to legally bind a couple followed by a religious ceremony to follow is perfect. However, at the time, this option was not available to us as a gay couple. It was available in way of a civil union with a ceremony to follow. But it was called something different than what other people were allowed. It was separate but not equal. I think I was saying the same thing; however, I did make the mistake of giving religion ownership of marriage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was struggling with the fear that gay couples would never be given the right of marriage in the US. I was trying to elevate the status of civil unions to be the more 'important thing'. The idea that everyone should have a civil union to legally bind and grant rights, protection and equality under the law. After the civil union the marriage ceremony was optional and could be celebrated in any way one chooses. I was trying to minimize the meaning of marriage and elevate the status of civil unions. This, I recognize now, was an opinion from my own small world view.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>'While religions are free to attach whatever religious significance they like to it, marriage was not invented by or for any religion.'</i> </span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a great point. Many do get confused and turn marriage over to religion. Marriage isn't something churches have ownership of. Marriage, in a historical sense, wasn't even about love. One merely needs to watch HBO's Game of Thrones to know that marriage was a way to gain family status and land ownership. (I know HBO probably shouldn't be my source of historical fact, what can I say). According to the book <i>'<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-History-How-Love-Conquered/dp/014303667X" target="_blank">Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage</a>'</i>, it wasn't until the mid eighteenth century that the definition started to change from arranged patriarchal marriage to more of a love based, male-bread-winner type of a marriage. And as recent as the last 30 years the 'male-bread winner' definition has been thrown into question.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When did Christianity assume ownership of marriage? Perhaps it was because the priests, as early as 313, were the tax collectors and record keepers of the land. It was under their jurisdiction, at the time, to perform the legal ceremony. This is no longer the situation in Europe or North America. Today government has taken over these responsibilities.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just last summer, in Oregon, I was able to legally marry my love of nearly 20 years. Why did we feel it was so important? After all we already had a legal civil union and 17 years prior we had sealed our love in a beautiful ceremony with friends and family. So why bother?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Several reasons come to mind. We wanted to celebrate the victory and progress of gay rights in the US. We wanted to stand, once again, before friends and family and declare our love and share a few bottles of good bourbon with them. We wanted recognition by the state, and the country, that we have all the same rights and protections under the law that any married persons have. We wanted to share in the declaration that separate is never equal. The civil union we were allowed previously was not the same as marriage, it did not create equality; it was not afforded the same dignity and respect that marriage was.</span></div>
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even though Suzie and I are now legally married there are still many committed gay couples that do not have the marriage option. I do believe the <a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/resources/entry/marriage-polling" target="_blank">momentum has shifted</a> in the US. Gay marriage still faces many challenges and battles, yet it has become the more popular mainstream view. The religious right have become the outliers. Those who oppose gay marriage are suddenly the ones who have lost their dignity and the respect of society.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are many, in the Mormon church, who have accepted the inevitably that gay marriage will soon be legal throughout the United States. Now the cry of the Mormon leadership is that gay marriage, though legally accepted by law, is 'counterfeit'.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">To those who still hold to the idea that my marriage is lesser than a hetero-marriage. That my marriage and my family is counterfeit. I say...</span><br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-38700443487363492752014-10-18T11:13:00.004-07:002014-10-18T11:25:06.465-07:00Soul or No Soul--That is the Question<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I saw this image on one of my favorite <a href="http://irresistibledisgrace.wordpress.com/2014/10/18/is-the-lds-church-even-the-body-of-christ/" target="_blank">blogs</a>. It inspired me to do a little armchair internet research regarding a question that's been on my mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Do we have a soul inspiring us and leading us to intuit certain matters? Does our soul, if we have one, act independent of our brain to inspire us and answer burning questions? Do we 'feel' in our heart that certain things are true because of our soul? Or is the brain the only organ at work sending messages to the rest of our body; prompting us to feel a 'burning in our bosom' or have that 'gut feeling'?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When we have a strong emotional response to something we can have a physical reaction occurring in our heart or our stomach. It can literally feel like a broken heart or a happy heart or a 'gut feeling'. Are these feelings based on memories of our experiences throughout life? Memories stored in our brain and recalled by our brain? Or perhaps it is an external force (like God) influencing our soul (spirit).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then I think about personality types and how different people react to these feelings. Some people run away from danger, some people run towards it. Some people follow rules even if they don't agree with them and others break rules just because they can. There are a number of personalities reacting in a number of ways in between these extreme examples; but, is our personality a result of our brain or our soul?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If there is a soul does it affect my brain which in turn affects everything else? What's bigger my brain or my soul? Is my brain my soul? Is my soul simply a figment of my imagination, or my brain?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure my musings seem elementary to those who have studied the brain and know how the body works. I apologize for my simplistic approach to this question. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have always been a very emotionally based person. I have spent the better part of my life <i>feeling </i>my way through most situations. I credit myself for having very strong intuitions prompting me to reach out to others and act in ways seeming, at least to me, to be rather prophetic. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've grown up contributing these promptings to something I understood to be my soul. Taking it further into my religious background; I always thought my intuition was my soul, or my spirit, listening to the promptings of something outside of myself; like God or the Holy Ghost.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is usually more important to me to 'feel' things are right or wrong; true or false; good or bad. Rather than, to 'know' things are right or wrong; true or false; good or bad. There are exceptions to this; for example, taking an exam at school or working with data at work. These situations, for me, are an effort; however, I have become pretty good at thinking and knowing because society demands it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Knowing and recalling details or intellectual information does not come easy to me; however, making decisions and taking action based on my intuition is like second nature to me.</span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A2n3SoEmwdY/VEKTW2n-dVI/AAAAAAAAAP4/zI3UvfDysi4/s1600/albert-einstein-intuition.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A2n3SoEmwdY/VEKTW2n-dVI/AAAAAAAAAP4/zI3UvfDysi4/s1600/albert-einstein-intuition.jpg" height="202" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://examinedexistence.com/intuition-gut-feeling-and-the-brain-understanding-our-intuition/" target="_blank">Perhaps</a> intuitive and emotionally based people have, over time, developed pathways and areas of their brain that can intuit, or are extra sensitive to, certain physical energies around us. Maybe we are born with certain areas of our brain more developed than other areas. Intellectual, or more pragmatic, people have exercised, or developed, other areas of the brain.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And where does personality come in? <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love?language=en" target="_blank">Helen Fisher</a>, one of my favorite anthropologists, is an expert on personality types and how personality plays into who and why we love. I think her personality types are very suitable across the board; affecting everything in our lives not just love. I've posted about Helen Fisher and personality types <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/helen-fishers-personality-test.html" target="_blank">before</a>. Doctor Fisher clearly attributes our personalities to our brain and the chemicals in our body interacting with our brain.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Ergo, If our intuition is a function of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex then perhaps there is no soul. And if our personality is attributed to our brain and the chemicals interacting with certain areas of our brain then, again, perhaps there is no soul.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I guess what I have come out of this brief internet study with is that our brain is a superpower and I want to learn more about the brain, my brain. I want to learn how to use this superpower to help myself and others.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's weird isn't it? I want to use my brain to learn more about my brain so that I can improve my brain and then use my brain in a more efficient way to help myself and others.</span></div>
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<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-A2n3SoEmwdY%2FVEKTW2n-dVI%2FAAAAAAAAAP4%2FzI3UvfDysi4%2Fs1600%2Falbert-einstein-intuition.jpg&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*" with "https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A2n3SoEmwdY/VEKTW2n-dVI/AAAAAAAAAP4/zI3UvfDysi4/s1600/albert-einstein-intuition.jpg" --><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-22455061589173287182014-09-03T06:59:00.000-07:002023-10-07T10:54:30.616-07:00Screaming My Truth Softly<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Being a politically and socially progressive person kind of set me up for a lot of disappointment while I was active in the Mormon Church. I could never close the gap or minimize the dissonance constantly present between the life of love, empathy and compassion I wanted to live and the critical, judgmental life I experienced so often in the church. I constantly found myself on the other side of the fence from other 'more faithful' members on most social and political issues.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A lot of people <a href="https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/why-i-stay/">can live in the duality</a> of church activity with all the dissonance; still finding they are uplifted and edified. For me, however, it got to a point where I rarely felt good at church; in fact, it was quite the opposite. I would go to church on Sunday and leave absolutely exhausted and drained of any good will I had built up during the week. Being with the Saints on Sunday was kicking my butt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eventually I just didn't want the conflict in my life. I no longer wanted to spend my time in church getting frustrated and angry taking up the fight for social justice in Sunday School. I was tired of the importance being placed on things I found trivial; like, should teenage boys <a href="http://infantsonthrones.com/little-factories/">masturbate</a>, should a young man not wearing a <a href="http://bycommonconsent.com/2011/01/20/of-shirts-signals-and-sacraments/">white shirt</a> be restricted from passing the sacrament, should young women be passing the sacrament, should a young woman be told her greatest calling in life is to be a mother while at the same time a young man is not told that his greatest calling in life is to be a father along with so many other things I had grown tired of. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was a square peg in a round hole and it was becoming uncomfortable and restrictive. I was not supported in being the person I wanted to be. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I found was the tendency, of some members, to constantly measure themselves, and others, against a ruler of perfection and a false notion of righteousness. Without even being aware of it many became quite harsh in their perception of the world and the people in it. <a href="http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/2014/02/movie-frozen-gay-homosexual-agenda.html#.VAcXTvldWSo">Self righteousness</a> was in their veins and they didn't even realize they were judging and being holier than thou. It simply became a way of living.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course it's human nature to judge, or make judgments. We make judgments while choosing our personal standard of living. We make judgments, or decisions, about what we will do in any particular situation or in what we wear or in what we eat and drink. It's healthy to have a strong sense of your ethical standard and know who you are and who you want to be in the world. The problem, I believe, comes when you let someone, or something, else set your standards for you. You begin to think your moral standards are the 'only true standards' and then you take a hold of that ruler of righteousness and <a href="http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot.com/">beat others over the head with it</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Be careful how you use that ruler; it just may be the very thing that blocks your entrance into Heaven as you know it. Don't forget what is important--empathy, understanding, responsibility to do good in the world. Decide who you want to be in the world then rid yourself of the influences and practices not supporting you. If the church supports you in being who you want to be then, by all means, stay, it's a good place for you. If the church stops you from being who you want to be in the world then leave it behind.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And for hell's sake support and uplift others and don't worry so much about spreading your brand of happiness. We don't exist to save others; we just happen to find ourselves on this planet at the same time. Our paths have crossed and by mere coincidence we have this opportunity to interact with one another. It's not my job to convince you that I am right and you are wrong. It's not your job to decide I am a sinner but you're going to <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/04/saints-and-sinners.html">love me anyway</a>. There's not a singular path to happiness; stop trying to convince others your path is best. Just enjoy the journey and do your best to uplift and support others on their journey.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If this life is all we have and there is no God or Heaven or eternal anything then wouldn't you want to live life to it's fullest by being a happy, kind person? Wouldn't you want to take advantage of every day you have with your loved ones? Wouldn't you want to live a life worth living? And if there is a God and a Heaven and an eternal existence then wouldn't you want to do exactly the same thing? Let's just get down to the business of living and figuring shit out. Let's just hold on to each other and make our way through life as best we can.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every day, it seems, I make adjustments to my thinking and to my living. I see my truth, I do my best, I slip up, I adjust then I try again. This is my imperfect life and I am content with it. There is some discontent in there too; just enough to keep me moving forward.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every so often I want to scream my truth to others; and now and again </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">do scream. To keep from screaming too much I write it down here in my blog and send it out to the blogosphere where a few people will come across it; most likely, not by divine intervention but merely by chance. If you find yourself reading this post I hope it resonates in some way. I hope it either disturbs you or comforts you.</span></span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-36887750151352692632014-06-29T06:45:00.003-07:002014-06-29T06:47:01.347-07:00Another Blog Post About Excommunication<span style="font-size: large;">... I was hesitant to write about excommunication in the Mormon Church because it has been pretty thoroughly discussed recently.<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3832968484796417459"></a>
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<span style="font-size: large;">However, the recent purge the church has launched against a few high profile members, has got me thinking about my own excommunication. Mostly I've been thinking about what I said to the bishop who excommunicated me and what I wish I had said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You know how it is; someone says something to you, catching you off guard, and you respond with something akin to "uuuuhhh". Then you step away from the moment and you suddenly think of all these things you could have, should have, said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let me tell you a bit of back story to set the stage. In 1995 I walked away from the church. It was a very <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2010/01/doing-right-thing.html" target="_blank">painful process</a> and it took a long time for me to heal from that abusive relationship. In March of 2004 Multnomah County, in Portland, issued over 3,000 marriage licences to same sex couples and in answer to this there was a measure placed on the November ballot to add the 'One Man, One Woman' clause to the Oregon constitution. The ballot measure was approved by voters and discrimination was written into the state constitution.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It was during all of this political activity that I received a phone call from the bishop's secretary telling me that the bishop would like to talk with me and would I like to come to his office or would I prefer he come to my home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I said: "uuuhhhh, my home I guess."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I wish I had said: <i>"My preference is that you all keep to yourself and stop trying to control everyone's life."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The next day I spent a bit of time straightening up the living room to make it comfortable and tidy for the visit from the bishop. At the appointed time there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and there was this man awkwardly standing on my porch. He introduced himself and said I'm bishop so and so. I invited him in but he politely told me that he preferred I come out on the porch to talk with him. I found this a bit strange but then I remember that he's not allowed to come into my home because he's by himself and I'm a single woman etc, etc... </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, whatever, I did just spend 30 minutes cleaning my living room but oh well. I went out on the porch and we sat down. He apologized for not coming in and started to explain the whole by himself, single woman thing to me. I let him finish then I said "...well, that's not really the case; you see, I am a married woman. Suzie and I got married just the other day." His response was something like "...uuuhhh good one". He then proceeded to tell me that because of certain choices I've made... blah blah blah and my obvious intent to live a lifestyle contrary to the churches beliefs... blah blah blah... I'm left with no choice but to excommunicate you from the CoJCoLDS". He pretty much made it clear to me that this was his obligation and not necessarily his pleasure or even something he agreed with.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">After a little chit chat about how wonderful my kids were and what a great job I had done as a mother the bishop left and I went inside to enjoy my clean living room. All in all not a bad experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Three weeks after my visit from the bishop I heard that he was released and there was a new sheriff in town. I waited months for a letter or some notification of my excommunication but it never came. Apparently the first bishop didn't complete the job so it was left to the new bishop to do it up right because one Saturday I hear a knock on my door. This time when I open the door there are two men asking if I had a moment. (What is it about Mormons just dropping by unannounced). </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I invited them in and this time they did come in. I invited them to sit down in the living room. The bishop asked if we could sit at the dining room table instead. To this day I don't know why that was important unless it was simply so he could have control of the situation. We sat down at the table and he proceeded to tell me they were there to talk with me about my life choices that they found to be contrary to church teachings. I mentioned that another bishop had already done this and I didn't understand why I had to endure this twice. His response indicated that things needed to be done in a particular manner and the other bishop had not followed procedure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What felt uncomfortable to me was that my children were home and could hear what their bishop was saying to their mother about her unworthiness. My children were all active in the church at this time and their father was very much a true believing member of the church. It would be an interesting conversation to have with them now, as adults, to see if they were aware of what was happening.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I did: I just sat and hoped that the kids were not going to know what was going on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I wish I had done: <i>Was stand up and invite them to leave my home and tell them never to come back.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The bishop proceeded to ask me if I felt the need to repent. This kind of took me off guard, it had been a number of years since I had been under the thumb of oppression. I had completely forgotten what it was like to be subject to this type of judgement and abuse. The counselor seemed very uncomfortable while the bishop seemed to be completely enjoying himself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Calling the bishop by his first name I said "No Craig, I don't feel a need to repent. I have done nothing wrong. My life is good; I am closer to love and goodness than I have ever been at any other time of my life... and I would like to say that even if I did feel a need to repent I would not do so through you. I no longer need a priesthood holder to mediate between me and God."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"... Sister Searle, I have no choice but to proceed with your excommunication from the church." He then told me that the church had recently changed its policies and since I wasn't a priesthood holder there was no need for a formal court. He and his counselors would convene the next day in his office and the matter would be taken care of. I would then receive a letter in the mail with their determination of my standing in the church.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I said: "Okay."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I wish I had said: <i>"Craig, my only words of defense are not to claim my innocence, not to profess that my choices and my lifestyle are perfectly healthy and normal (which is all true) rather my words to you are to defend myself from a tyrant church. I have spent the last several years redefining and reconnecting with myself and with love. I have arrived at a place in my life where the church and it's leaders have no control or power over me. I am closer to love and perfection than I've been at any other point in my life. So this thing you are doing, this excommunication, is completely for your own self righteous and evil ends. There is no love in what you are doing here today. There is no love or concern in your actions. I won't judge your motives because I believe you have been manipulated and deceived for so long that you truly believe that what you're doing is good and loving." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I then saw these two men to the door, shook their hands and sent them on their way. I did talk to my kids about what had happened. I let them know that because I was choosing to live a happy, authentic life and stay with Suzie, whom we all loved and considered to be very much a part of our family, that the bishop was going to proceed with an excommunication. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The day after the visit from the bishop there was a plate of Christmas cookies on my porch from the counselor and his wife. Maybe this was his way of apologizing for the abuse he had witnessed the day before. Nothing like a good sugar cookie after such a pleasant visit with the Lord's anointed.</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-35883817365676477672014-03-13T06:35:00.000-07:002014-03-13T06:46:08.709-07:00Families are Forever - Unless...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Growing up Mormon; 'it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was the best of times in that as a young child I was given a road map to life that was safe and easy to navigate. I was surrounded by a community of people who cared for me and, for the most part, protected me. It was the worst of times in that I spent many years chasing rainbows and in so doing I neglected and missed out on relationships with family and peers who deserved my respect and my love but instead received my pity and my judgement. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This pity and judgement was all wrapped up in golden rules like 'love thy neighbor' or 'love the sinner but hate the sin'. These golden rules allowed me to feel like a compassionate, loving, non-judgmental person. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What was really happening; however, was that I had little respect for my father as I tried so diligently to <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/02/saving-dad.html" target="_blank">save his sorry soul</a>. I had no way of relating to what many of my peers were going through as they grappled with the gray matter of the world. As a young girl I had no skills to navigate my way out of two damaging and dangerous situations with abusive men.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-reJ_mTXSJ-8/UyGyfFzrfuI/AAAAAAAAAOI/NBGQiinEDGE/s1600/families-are-forever-templ2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-reJ_mTXSJ-8/UyGyfFzrfuI/AAAAAAAAAOI/NBGQiinEDGE/s1600/families-are-forever-templ2.jpg" height="115" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Families are forever; '</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it is the best of blessings and the worst of burdens...'</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was taught, from a very young age, that the 'Eternal Family' is one of the greatest rewards one can attain. To live a life of righteous endeavor, to stay faithful to the principals and ordinances of the gospel with the promise of being together forever is, most likely, a top priority for most true believing members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pretend for a moment, just for the sake of understanding, that you believe with all your heart, might, mind and soul that this eternal family principal is true. As a parent you are doing everything in your might to raise your children 'right'. You have loved and nurtured; you have given everything you have to your children; and then, one of these children has the audacity to 'think for themselves' to actually make choices for themselves and boom, before you know it, they have decided on a path different from your own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Suddenly that child is out of the EFU (eternal family unit) and there is nothing you can do but hope and pray that this child will one day return to the true church. Okay, this isn't all you can do; there has got to be more you can do. The stakes are too high and you are not going to stand by idly and watch it happen. So you send gospel literature you use guilt to possibly steer them in the right direction. You beg, you nag until before you know it you have placed a wedge between you and your child.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or you may just let them go, knowing it's their decision; yet, you never stop aching for that child. You will continue to love and reach out; because, you don't like the alternative of losing this child in the here and now. But imagine the weight on your heart because of the fear of not having this child with you in the eternities. The guilt that you did something wrong along the way. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a prodigal parent; my heartache was that I wouldn't be with my children forever. I was robbing my children of their mother and opening up the possibility that they would also go astray. I was eventually able to let go of this belief but the fear and grief was still there because I worried that my children would pity me, pray for me and try with all their might to save my sorry soul. Yes, it had come full circle; I went from being my father's savior to being my children's sinner in the wink of an eye. I have since become more confident in my children and in their ability to question, discern and sort through their beliefs; coming to their own conclusions and walking their own path.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><a href="http://www.iamanexmormon.com/2011/03/families-are-together-forever-my-name-is-kerri-bodie-and-im-an-ex-mormon/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">The grief, the guilt and the heartache</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> are very real in so many people's lives because of this principal of eternal families. When I made the decision to leave the church I received letters from family members and friends shaming me and expressing their concern that I was breaking eternal commitments; I was destroying my eternal family. "How can you do this to your children?" was the common question. The decision I made to leave the church was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had been so controlled and conditioned that I felt there were eternal implications; that there was some sort of God waiting to exact punishment on me and my family simply because I was taking a different course. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Mormon temples are at the center of this issue. If you are not Mormon you may, or may not, know the significance and importance of the temple and the temple recommend. In the temple faithful members of the Mormon Church perform very important ordinances and rituals required in this life so that when you leave this life you will be allowed to enter into the Celestial Kingdom (the upper heaven) where families are allowed to live together for eternity. If you don't attain this level of heaven you will not be allowed to be with your loved ones forever. Each year a person is required to interview with two church leaders in order to prove worthiness of a 'temple recommend'. If you answer a <a href="https://www.lds.org/ensign/2010/08/being-worthy-to-enter-the-temple?lang=eng" target="_blank">set of questions</a> correctly you will get a recommend allowing you to go to the temple. If you don't answer satisfactorily; you will be <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/11/my-lucky-day.html" target="_blank">denied a recommend</a>.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a very real issue in the Mormon church; affecting families in many different ways. A mother is kept from attending her daughter's temple wedding. A ninety one year old faithful woman, who chooses to pay her bills or help a family member instead of paying tithing, is kept from entering the temple. A gay son is taken to therapy in order to repair his 'same sex attraction'. Instead of being loved and encouraged to seek a healthy, happy relationship he will be encouraged to live a life of celibacy or to find a worthy young woman and marry in the temple regardless of his sexual orientation. A 15 year old girl tells her bishop that she was molested by an adult male in the church and nothing is done. That adult male holds a temple recommend and is a youth leader in the local congregation. An abused wife is told to keep trying to make her marriage successful in order to preserve her 'eternal family'. Her husband, the abuser, has a temple recommend and holds leadership positions in his local congregation.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">To be fair there are many good things that come from the Mormon focus on family and the intention behind most members actions are love and compassion. I don't know about the motives of the institution itself. As I go through my own cycle of healing from breaking off this relationship I find I have gone through all the normal stages of grief. After leaving I went many years keeping a quiet respect for the church; but now, I feel compelled to let go of some of the frustrations and anger I have for the church as an institution. An organization, that I feel, controls the hearts and minds of millions and abuses their power.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The church was, and is, a part of who I am. I continue to be proud of my pioneer heritage. I will always love my friends and family in the church and respect their choices. I am happy to be who I am and where I am today. It is often the case in life, that as we get through the worst of times we arrive at the best of times.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Amen</span></span><br />
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<!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://images-blogger-opensocial.googleusercontent.com/gadgets/proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-reJ_mTXSJ-8%2FUyGyfFzrfuI%2FAAAAAAAAAOI%2FNBGQiinEDGE%2Fs1600%2Ffamilies-are-forever-templ2.jpg&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*" with "https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-reJ_mTXSJ-8/UyGyfFzrfuI/AAAAAAAAAOI/NBGQiinEDGE/s1600/families-are-forever-templ2.jpg" --><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-1390953407297097282014-03-01T07:40:00.000-08:002018-09-22T05:11:49.095-07:00My Gay Agenda<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm all about transparency so I want to take this opportunity to post my 'gay agenda' as to not sneak up on anyone.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3832968484796417459"></a>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hamQK3KR29s/UxH-wRoSCxI/AAAAAAAAAN0/zU-tZ_R2I2E/s1600/frozen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hamQK3KR29s/UxH-wRoSCxI/AAAAAAAAAN0/zU-tZ_R2I2E/s1600/frozen.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wake up</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Drink coffee</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Read/write</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Shower</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Go to work</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Eat lunch</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Work some more</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Go home</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Get into pajamas asap</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Have an adult beverage</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Watch a bit of TV</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Go to bed</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rinse and repeat...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the weekends I get totally crazy and go to movies and take walks and clean the house. I know; it's a very divisive agenda.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Please be aware of people like myself who would like nothing more than to recruit you, and everyone else, into this subversive lifestyle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">xoxo</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Just Jill"</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-22684317511459257772014-01-04T09:59:00.000-08:002014-01-04T09:59:10.839-08:00A New Years Tradition<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have developed a bit of an aversion to the idea of goal setting. Most likely from years of 'Personal Progress' and 'Pursuit of Excellence' programs fed to me all my life. Not to mention daily and weekly goal setting for nearly two years of my life while laboring in the mission field.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So now I call it 'setting intentions' with lots of room for shifting and natural progress. I know, it's goal setting by another name; but, it's more palatable to me that way. It's a way for me to take an inventory of the past and focus myself for the future without guilt and judgment.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8y-p75-d01M/Usg2JHMs6mI/AAAAAAAAANE/goIaRySvGbc/s1600/Pirates+JD+-+Captain+Sparrow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8y-p75-d01M/Usg2JHMs6mI/AAAAAAAAANE/goIaRySvGbc/s200/Pirates+JD+-+Captain+Sparrow.jpg" title="" width="174" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">arrhh treasures await</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For the last several years I've had a tradition of treasure mapping for the new year.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It started out as something fun to do with my children when they were young. We would sit in the living room cutting out pictures and words from old magazines pasting them onto poster boards to represent our intentions for the new year. The boys, not liking it at first, would eventually settle into the creativity of it and manage to come up with some pretty clever boards by the end. My daughter and I continued the practice long after the boys and Suzie grew tired of it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It soon became something Katie and I did with several of her friends each year. By this time I had added in the bagua concept. Meaning the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng_shui" target="_blank">feng shui</a> <a href="http://fengshui.about.com/od/glossaryofterms/g/bagua.htm" target="_blank">bagua map</a> that helped direct the creativity into particular areas giving us some ideas to start our process. We would section out our maps into nine areas and start cutting and pasting away. It was always fun to visit and create together and see what everyone came up with for their board.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y8o5A6ciYh4/Usg7wRUDTsI/AAAAAAAAANU/whWp7vpX4sQ/s1600/Treasure+Map+Template.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y8o5A6ciYh4/Usg7wRUDTsI/AAAAAAAAANU/whWp7vpX4sQ/s400/Treasure+Map+Template.jpg" width="308" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Treasure Map/Bagua Template</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Katie has carried this tradition into her adult life and shares it with her friends each year. I, on the other hand, have gotten away from the magazine, cutting, pasting idea and now I just create my treasure map on the computer with a template that I created a few years back. (Mostly because I'm lazy).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I often times pull up maps from past years and think of the progress or shifts I have made through time. I'm sometimes surprised how my intentions have manifested or evolved even though I haven't looked at my map for a year. Then I work through my new map with ideas of what is important to me; launching into the new year with a feeling of positive intention and a bit of satisfaction that I can be artsy craftsy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This year's treasure map consists of a myriad of intentions ranging from walk more/eat less to traveling to Kentucky along the <a href="http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/road-trips/bourbon-trail-kentucky-road-trip/" target="_blank">Bourbon Trail</a> for Suzie and my 20th anniversary. I also want to take computer programming classes through <a href="http://www.linfield.edu/dce/" target="_blank">Linfield's Department of Continuing Education</a>. And, as always, I add <a href="http://www.maxinedenver.com/" target="_blank">Maxine Denver</a> (Paul and Kelly's business) and <a href="http://www.kinfolkmag.com/" target="_blank">Kinfolk</a> (Nate and Katie's business) fully confident in their growth and prosperity. Along with a special mention of Jacob's graduation from Pacific University in the spring!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's hard to see but it's all in there: </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hmrC6lPcT8U/Usg9A-11jiI/AAAAAAAAANg/gJj0j4_tc1I/s1600/2014+Treasure+Map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hmrC6lPcT8U/Usg9A-11jiI/AAAAAAAAANg/gJj0j4_tc1I/s320/2014+Treasure+Map.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Treasure Map of 2014<br /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm thinking I'll work some more on my map of 2014. Maybe throw in a few manifestations for marriage equality and peace on earth. The big smiley face in the center goes a long way and leaves lots of room for growing, shifting and laying down on the couch whenever possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am moving into a year of reaping all the goodness from my hard work and efforts of the past five years. I hope everyone has a fantastic 2014. </span><br /></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-68344231994621398502013-12-22T11:01:00.002-08:002013-12-28T09:24:34.691-08:00Yes, that Utah<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe in miracles...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I often times start posts and save them as drafts. It may take a me awhile to get back to my post. In this case I have no idea what I was about to write. I had simply written 'I believe in miracles'. I don't remember writing it and it doesn't seem like something I would write.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maybe I was being prophetic because what happened in Utah on Friday with 'Gay Marriage' was nothing short of a miracle. I'll be watching with interest as this case proceeds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure there will be strong opposition from the state. There will be arguments that the states have jurisdiction over marriage; therefore, state's rights are being violated. It is true; states do have jurisdiction over marriage and it is left to the states to define marriage I'm actually trying to understand this myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My limited knowledge of law and order is that there are 'states rights' and this is part of what makes "our country great", (notice the air quotes), the power of the state, in defining marriage, over rule the power of the federal government. So what is going on here?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Rachel Maddow and her guest, New York University law professor Kenji Yoshino, explain it <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/12/21/this-one-feels-different-rachel-maddow-on-the-fall-of-utahs-marriage-equality-ban/" target="_blank">here</a>; they mention the 'nuclear option' which means that when state law and federal law clash state law wins. They also refer to the '<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Windsor" target="_blank">Windsor case</a>'. How does all this help us; us meaning 'We the Gay People' and our allies?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is still difficult for me to wrap my head around the technicalities of this situation. Apparently the Utah case is different; in that it was a federal judge who ruled the Utah state amendment defining marriage as unconstitutional. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Judge Robert Shelby says the following:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"The state’s current laws deny its gay and lesbian citizens their fundamental right to marry and, in so doing, demean the dignity of these same-sex couples for no rational reason," the judge wrote. "Accordingly, the court finds that these laws are unconstitutional."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"The court agrees with Utah that regulation of marriage has traditionally been the province of the states, and remains so today. But any regulation adopted by a state, whether related to marriage or any other interest, must comply with the Constitution of the United States,".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There's the kicker. A state cannot adopt any law that violates the US Constitution. The 14th amendment, particularly the first section, of the US Constitution, the most litigated section of the constitution, states:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">14th Amendment Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A more interesting thing is that 33 other states have a similar amendment in their state constitution. Does this mean that once Utah repeals Judge Shelby's ruling, (and I bare testimony that they will), the case will go to the supreme court and once a ruling is determined by the Supreme Court it will set a precedence for all? I hope this is what it means because this will mean a landslide of change in this the United States of America!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Since 'human dignity' is used as a main argument in the ruling of Judge Shelby I worry that the words 'human dignity' are not used in the US Constitution. There is jurisprudence however; meaning, the Supreme Court has ruled based on the philosophy or theory of human dignity being a constitutional right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I must say I am still a bit apprehensive about what will happen. I do know that the fight for gay marriage is moving in the right direction. It seems like a slow moving train at times but we are making progress and we will arrive. I'm cautiously optimistic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let's take a moment to recognize the accuracy in Justice Scalia's prediction that the precedence set by the ruling in United States vs Windsor that DOMA denies plaintiffs their rights to due process and equal protection under the law (5th amendment) would be setting a precedence for striking down similar amendments in state constitutions. Of course he said it as a bad thing; I personally think it is a great thing. Thank you Justice Scalia for pointing this out so Judge Sheldon could reference this in his ruling.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thank you to <a href="http://poy.time.com/2013/12/11/runner-up-edith-windsor-the-unlikely-activist/" target="_blank">Edith Windsor</a> who at age 83 had the courage, the money and the gumption to fight her fight in court.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thank you Judge Sheldon for your 53 page ruling declaring Utah's amendment, defining marriage as between a man and a woman, as unconstitutional. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thank you, in advance, to the state of Utah for appealing this decision and laying the ground work necessary for the Supreme Court to rule in favor of gay marriage in Utah and subsequently setting the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">precedence </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">for the other 33 states who still have this type of amendment in their constitutions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Go Utah! Who would've thunk it. :o)</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-63494840922381447712013-10-31T06:06:00.000-07:002013-11-01T00:34:38.338-07:00Testing for the God Factor-Belief Analytics<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm resurrecting, in part, a post from last March. Take a few minutes to answer the questions below and see if you are naturally inclined to believe in God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The point of this post is not to discover truth or unravel mystery or prove my point. I am simply exploring the mystery of the human need to believe in a higher power. I am not trying to explain my beliefs or to understand your beliefs. I want to explore why do we or don't we believe in God(s) or religion.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maybe, as pointed out in some scientific articles I've read, it boils down to what kind of 'thinker' you are. An interesting idea, but it falls short of explaining why I have come to where I am in my thinking and my beliefs. I want to sum up one article I read this morning on <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/201302/what-kind-thinker-believes-in-god">cognitive thinking</a> and how the type of thinker you are leads to a belief, or disbelief, in God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A reflective thinker is someone who analyzes and is logical by nature; while an intuitive thinker is more likely to feel their way and go with their gut feelings. The level of cognitive thinking can be partially determined by answering these three questions:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">THE COGNITIVE REFLECTION TEST</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total. The bat costs $1.00 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If it takes five machines five minutes to make five widgets, how long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake? </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The more correct answers you get indicates you are a reflective, or analytic, thinker and the less likely you are to believe in God or other spiritual phenomena. The fewer correct answers you get indicates you are an intuitive thinker and the more likely your are to believe in God. It's not a measure of intelligence but a measure of logic and analytic abilities. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Of course if you are a science or math whiz you might easily come to more correct answers. Are there scientists and math genius' that believe in God? Yes there are; are there intuitive thinkers who don't believe in God; yes obviously. These are just indicators and inclinations. I'm definitely an intuitive thinker.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are the answers: Five cents, five minutes, and forty-seven days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The type of thinker we are is an indicator of our inclinations towards God. However; life happens and many of us go beyond our inclinations to come to other conclusions. I'm an intuitive thinker but through my life and my experiences I have come to a place in my life where I don't believe in God. Or at least I don't think it's important if there is a God or not. Even though I don't believe in God my intuitive nature still leans towards spiritual phenomena. I believe strongly in my intuitive nature which leads me towards all manner of woo woo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />I got every question wrong; however, once I saw the answers they made total sense and I was able to puzzle through the questions and come to the correct answers. This is my pattern; the way I approach a lot of things in my life. My first response is intuitive and visceral; however, I also enjoy puzzling my way through life in a more logical sort of way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What do you think... (or feel)?</span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-60268322238311823542013-10-26T08:25:00.004-07:002013-10-26T08:25:36.792-07:00I Believe that I Don't Believe...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The more I think about it the more I believe that I don't believe; in God that is. God seems like a fictional character to me these days. I shake my head as I look back on the days when I was a faithful believer. My journey away from God has been a slow and steady one. I started out a 100% believer in God and Jesus Christ. Eventually I became a doubter then a 50/50 kind of gal. My attitude for a long time has been 'what if there is; what if there isn't... does it really matter?' I am more recently moving into the 'I can't imagine there is a God' place; the idea seems like a fairy tale or a myth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm sure there are friends and family shaking their heads at this thought; wondering what they are going to do without me in the eternities. And to those loved ones I say... sorry, I know eternal life will be boring without me there. I believe we live then we die... I don't believe there is a place where good people go and a place where others go. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have yet to define the '<a href="http://phrontistery.info/isms.html" target="_blank">ism</a>' I subscribe to. For now I'll call it myism; a belief system of my own making.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe we have this life and we should make good choices. The choices that bring us, and those around us, happiness and love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe morality is not something exclusive to religion or religious people. The most important tenant of my life is to love and respect. Love and respect myself; love and respect others; love and respect all the people, animals and objects in my world. I believe everyone is my equal and no one is more important or lesser important than me.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe Excel is a miracle.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What I think about, what intrigues and fascinates me, is why do masses of people believe in a <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2010/03/man-in-sky.html" target="_blank">higher power</a>? What is it in our human nature driving us to form religions and beliefs in something or someone who is in charge of things somehow. Is it our need to have answers? Our need to have power and control? Our need to know that somehow things will be made right through some eternal reward and punishment system? What if Hitler gets away with it? What if there is no eternal damnation in store for the horribly cruel and evil people who have lived on this planet?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There is one bit I have not quite let go of and I'm not sure how I reconcile this feeling or belief with my disbelief. I want to know that somehow when death occurs and we lose a loved one that they are still with us. I want their presence to be real and significant. My heart aches to think there is no contact with loved ones who have passed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So I still believe in ghosts and spirits... why? I'm not sure why. When horrible and tragic things happen to me or those close to me I still want to have contact. Imagine losing a child and not having any further contact. I use my powers of cognitive dissonance and I say 'maybe it's science'. Perhaps spirits and ghosts can be explained through science.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We are made up of energy and that energy is connected to everything else made up of energy. When we die our energy disperses into the universe and remains present. Maybe that energy hangs around us and comforts or haunts us. Energy vibrates at different frequencies and under the right circumstance we are sensitive to that frequency and we experience something paranormal. </span><br />
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</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So it makes sense doesn't it? Energy, ghosts, spirits... or is this just one other attempt to bring me peace of mind; maybe it's simply<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcDF0dHX9dU" target="_blank">infrasound</a>.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Think I'll just</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 18px;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlaoR5m4L80" target="_blank">let the mystery be</a>.</span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-72061761813688032082013-08-08T07:19:00.000-07:002013-08-13T07:17:43.923-07:00A Crisis of Faith - redefined<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been skimming a lot of online writings and blog posts addressing the many reasons individuals leave the Mormon church. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I read different accounts there seems to be this notion that 'insiders' identify 'outsiders' as people who have experienced a 'crisis of faith'. The idea started gnawing at me and bothering me just a bit. I've never imagined my leaving the Mormon church as a crisis of any sort. What many say is a crisis of faith to me was a truly enlightening experience. I didn't lose anything; I gained a broader knowledge, a broader perspective and a much more complete, fulfilling and happy existence. Leaving the church possibly saved my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have posted previously about my <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2010/01/doing-right-thing.html" target="_blank">personal journey</a>; the outline of my trek through inner darkness and a personal hell resulting in my coming out into a glorious world of love and respect for myself and others. If when you speak of a 'crisis of faith' you mean a difficult experience followed by a greater empathy and understanding of life then, I suppose, I did have a crisis of faith. However, if you are thinking that a 'crisis of faith' is a weakness or a failure and the result is a lost sole, then no, I did not suffer a 'crisis of faith'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Mormon Church is simply a religion, like many other religions; it is an evangelical entity that believes there is an eternal reward for unquestioning faith. Once you start looking at the stories and the teachings of the church it <a href="http://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm">quickly unravels</a>. My exodus from the Mormon church took place before the internet. (BG-Before the Googles.) The research and study I participated in was scripture, books, discussions and symposiums. Even BG it was easy to dispel the myths and see the inconsistencies and conflicts with reality.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My own experience was one of six or seven years of picking and choosing the tenants of the gospel I could believe in and leaving others alone. I looked at every question I had and determined if it was Mormon doctrine or if it was Mormon folklore. If it was the latter I dismissed it, if it was the former I studied it out and determined if it was something I could stand behind or if I needed to turn the page and get past it. Over time there was a lot of page turning and before I realized it there was very little left for me to stand behind. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Was there fear? Was there anger? Was there confusion? Yes to all three. I had spent a lifetime affiliated with a religion quite the opposite of my nature. I had dedicated my time, my talent and my treasure to what? To an entity that I now feel is broken and, at least for me, a place of confusion and unhappiness. I had spent nearly two years of my life proselyting full-time telling others of the truth of the church. My tithing helped fund the fight against <a href="http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&sourceId=f8a4615b01a6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____">women's rights</a> and <a href="http://freestudents.blogspot.com/2009/02/mormon-church-admits-they-lied-about.html">gay rights</a>. I know... what was I thinking?!?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">*The final straw for me was hearing a talk by Boyd K Packer in general conference stating that the three greatest enemies of the church are gays, feminists and so called intellectuals. Three strikes I'm out; okay 2 1/2 strikes, because I don't count myself an 'intellectual'. I was only guilty by association with the intellectual rebel rousers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">That was the last general conference I attended and, not long afterwards, I shed my temple garments and stopped all activity in the church. Since the timing of leaving the church was close to the timing of coming out as a lesbian and asking my husband for a divorce it seemed a good time to leave the church as well. Why not; I might as well get it all taken care of in one big nervous breakdown rather than three smaller ones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe, in my own situation, that the 'crisis' would have been staying in the church. My partner, Suzie, always says that she doesn't understand why anyone would stay in a bad relationship. Her method of determining if a relationship is worth staying in is to ask herself this question: Is your life better, or potentially better, with this person in your life? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Let's take a few paragraphs and extend this question to my relationship with the church. Of course the answer to a question like this isn't yes or no/black or white there is a list of pros and cons. For a long time the list of pros was longer than the list of cons and I was happy with the relationship. It brought me peace, friendship and purpose. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In the early stages of our relationship I felt loved and protected. Of course there were conditions to that love; as long as I did as I was told then I felt the love and protection. It was easy, for a long time, to be what Mr. Church wanted me to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Early in our relationship the stories told by Mr. Church were inspiring and faith promoting. I believed so strongly in what he said; I never thought to question. As is true of a lot of relationships one partner grows and learns and develops while the other partner doesn't change at all. Well I grew and Mr. Church refused to change.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I grew and practiced the principals of unconditional love and compassion taught to me by Mr. Church I started to realize he was all talk and no action. I then started looking at all of the stories and teachings he had given me throughout our relationship and realized that many of them were inaccurate, shameful and some were outright outlandish. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I didn't give up on the relationship right away. I needed to try and make it work. But after six long years of giving it my best effort I started feeling depressed and very alone. At one point during the struggle of resolving these relationship issues I realized he wasn't going to change. I could see so clearly the emotional abuse, the mind control and the bullying that was going on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I grew stronger and more independent over time and one day just decided that this relationship I had with Mr. Church was more harm than good. So I left the relationship and I have never regretted it. Now, outside of the relationship, I see so clearly what was going on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful for the good things that came from our 36 years together. When you break up with someone there are always those things you miss. I miss the friendship and connection I had with the other members of Mr. Church's family. Many members of the Church family are still in touch and I still have a relationship with them. I have also found strong and meaningful connections outside of the Church family. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The more time I am away from Mr. Church the better it gets. I know everyone's relationship is unique and I hope others who are in a relationship with Mr. Church can be happy; however, if anyone else feels the need to leave that relationship I hope they find the strength, courage and support to do so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know I made the right decision for myself and my family. I propose that a 'crisis of faith' is only possible if one fails to examine their relationship with the church and then take action to either stay in the relationship or leave the relationship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My advice; don't suffer a 'crisis of faith'. Figure it out; decide what enhances your life and be honest with yourself and your loved ones. There's no crisis in being true to oneself and doing what is good and right for your life and the lives of your loved ones. Don't live in fear and don't operate out of guilt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>* I don't find a reference for the conference talk by BKP. I have searched and as far as I can tell it is no where to be found on the internet, in official church writings or in conference issues of the Ensign. You'll believe me or you won't. I can only say that I was there, I heard the talk and it had a tremendous impact on me. This was not the talk to the <a href="http://www.zionsbest.com/face.html">All-Church Coordinating Council</a> that you can find referenced online; however, it is similar in nature and timing. The talk I heard was a general conference address to the general, world-wide membership. The words I use are paraphrased because I can't find them quoted exactly as I heard them.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>**Since posting this blog I have learned from an internet buddy (see comments below) that the conference talk I heard may not have been a general conference, but rather, a regional conference.</i><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-28895520632071272622013-06-21T07:33:00.002-07:002013-06-22T08:23:16.366-07:00Now I Know What is Meant by the 'Sandwiched Generation'<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now I know what is meant by the 'Sandwiched Generation'. I thought I knew before; however, as I was lying in bed frustrated to tears because my son and his friends were up at 3am while my 90 year old mother was sleeping in the room above them; I realized what it meant to be sandwiched; dealing with the emotions that come with caring for my children and my parent.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"But it has never been a problem before" Jacob reminds me. "We'll be more aware and try to be more quiet. Has Grandma said anything?" "No", I admitted, "she said she can't hear a thing, and she's been sleeping fine." Jacob looks at me funny and asks "then is there a problem?"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Truthfully there was no real problem. The problem was that I hadn't slept in two days because I was afraid Mom was going to hear the boys coming and going. I was the one who wasn't sleeping, I was the one who was having the problem. The solution was an easy one it was called 'ear plugs'.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom moved in with us, at my invitation, at the beginning of the month. She's 90 years old, in great health and has a clear mind, more so than most anyone I know. She's adjusting well, and other than a few moments of emotional ups and downs, she's happy and thriving. When asked if she's glad she made the move she answers yes with no hesitation. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm so happy to have her here with us and I think it's going to be great. She's very easy to be around; the button pushing between mother and daughter dissolved long ago, okay not so long ago, but it has dissolved. It only bothered me a little bit when she told me I needed to exercise more. (Thank God she told me that because I wasn't aware.) Other than that I haven't been bothered at all by anything she's done or said.</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oQ0Dtcg64nY/UcRkJAUmiOI/AAAAAAAAAMI/VNgagF6B2gM/s1600/Cleone+June+2013.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oQ0Dtcg64nY/UcRkJAUmiOI/AAAAAAAAAMI/VNgagF6B2gM/s200/Cleone+June+2013.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mom's name is Cleone. Cleone is one of the more amazing people in my life. I love and admire her for the life she's lived. She has always worked hard. In her 80's she was still working; she was a caregiver, taking care of 'older' ladies. The women she has cared for over the years have been important to Mom. She loved each one of them and her life has been enriched by the friendships. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm grateful to have this opportunity to be close to Mom and spend time with her. There are a whole lot of lessons I have yet to learn from her. In fact, just the other day, I learned how to tuck sheets army style. Who knew that all these years I've been doing it wrong. Seriously though, I'm going to learn from her character, her experience and her love. I have been given an opportunity to be close to my mom while she is still able to enjoy life and laugh everyday. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As for my children; they have their own lessons to learn. Jacob is no longer a child and is perfectly able to make life's decisions and take on the responsibilities of adulthood. Paul and Katie have both launched successful careers and have relationships that are healthy, strong and full of goodness. So as far as being sandwiched; I believe I am sitting between two damn good slices of the best bread ever made. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm in good company with Suzie, the love of my life, who has been sandwiched right along with me. She's been through all of the ups and downs. She's encouraged me and supported me in every decision and effort. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So yes, I am sandwiched, and I am finding it quite an amazing journey so far.</span></span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-26899133303301616402013-05-23T06:58:00.000-07:002018-05-07T07:15:50.767-07:00The Five Elements in Nine Star Ki<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In my introduction of <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/05/introduction-to-9-star-ki.html">9 Star Ki</a> I included a <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/05/9-star-ki-calculator.html">calculator</a>. If you played with the calculator you may have noticed that each of your numbers correlates with an element in nature.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3832968484796417459"></a>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Water (1); Wood (3,4); Fire (9); Earth (2,5,8); and Metal (6,7)</span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vPWIcXqHT-A/UZzSoU8x3ZI/AAAAAAAAALs/_dsLO_nO9Vs/s1600/elements.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vPWIcXqHT-A/UZzSoU8x3ZI/AAAAAAAAALs/_dsLO_nO9Vs/s200/elements.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The image above illustrates how the elements work together and effect one another. When we understand the elements and how they support and control one another we begin to see how we can make small shifts in our energy to achieve <a href="http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/Chinese_Customs/five_elements.htm" target="_blank">balance</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">For instance if I start feeling a depletion of my 'earth energy' (meaning I'm feeling over spent and I've been giving, giving, giving); I pull energy from 'fire' which if you look at the illustration above you'll see that fire nourishes earth. How do I pull energy from fire? I do something fiery like put on a red shirt and go out with my best friend to eat spicy foods and have a lovely drink. Do something fun and adventurous. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">On the other hand if I'm stuck and have too much earth energy (I can usually tell because I start to worry or feel resentful) then I push my earth energy forward in the cycle to metal. Metal, to me, is clean, shiny and organized. So I do something useful or do something to perfect my surroundings (even if that means cleaning one corner of my room) I then start to relax, unwind and put things into perspective. Another approach to too much earth energy might be to draw on the 'controlling element' which, for earth, is wood. Wood energy to me is active and forceful. Do something, go for a walk or a hike outdoors. Go to the gym (if you're so inclined) I would rather mow my lawn or clean my house. The key is to pull from the element you need to in order to maintain or regain balance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Each element has <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/p/wood-wood-personality-seeks-challenge.html">certain qualities and challenges</a>. We are complicated beings and though we have elements that are more prevalent in our personalities and nature we our a combination of all the elements. I think of it all in terms of balance. As an example I am a 5.5.5, or a triple earth; earth individuals are grounded and nurturing. Earth enjoys taking care of people; and depending on the individual and the yin/yang of their qualities the scope of their nurturing can become the world or it may be focused on their family and their close loved ones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Balance is the essence of yin/yang. There is a light side and a dark side interconnected and combined for balance. Our character is made up of light and dark energies; combined to achieve balance. I find it a challenge to maintain and achieve that balance, but when those energies are balanced; life seems to flow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We sometimes fall into the habit of considering 'light and dark' the same as 'good and bad' or 'positive and negative'. I consider the light and dark as both equally positive and negative. Oftentimes the same quality of nature can be our greatest strength as well as our greatest weakness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Consider day and night; both essential, both equal in beauty, both life giving. I can think of things I love about both like the movement and brightness of the day and the stillness and darkness of the night. I can also think of things I'm not so crazy about for both like the movement and the brightness of the day and the stillness and the darkness of the night. The energies stayed the same yet I am in tune or not; depending on where I am and how I feel in the moment. Depending on if there is a balance of energies both with me and around me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Another way to understand it might be to consider the people in your life. I have people in my life who would do anything for anyone. Can this trait be both good and bad? It's about balance. I keep coming back to center to balance, this is what I consider the way to happiness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I hope to write more on the subject of the five elements. It quickly becomes easy to identify the traits of each element. We can use this understanding to help ourselves stay in balance. We can also use this knowledge to see the interactions between individuals and group dynamics. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have learned to approach others according to what element they express themselves in. I have found the 5 elements to be the most comprehensive and easiest way to understanding and dealing with myself and others.</span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-61452932203035217152013-05-15T06:43:00.000-07:002013-05-15T06:45:53.907-07:00From Holy Ghost to Holy Roast<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The transition from inspiration by Holy Ghost to inspiration by Coffee was seamless. I haven't missed the former in the least. In fact I find coffee is far more predictable and reliable; it's certainly easier because there's no 'worthiness clause'; coffee is non-judgmental, non-discriminating and available for everyone.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The following passage originally referring to the HG now makes more sense. I simply replaced any reference to Mr. HG with 'Coffee'.</span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Coffee </i>is the Comforter (Jill (not John)14:26). As the soothing voice of a loving parent can quiet a crying child, the whisperings of the Spirit can calm our fears, hush the nagging worries of our life, and comfort us when we grieve. <i>Coffee </i>can fill us "with hope and perfect love" and "teach [us] the peaceable things of the kingdom" (oxyMoroni 8:26; J&S 36:2).</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In fact I'm partaking of the Holy Bean as we speak, feeling quite ready to face the day with a cup of coffee as my constant companion.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The following is a quote, with edits in italics, promising us the companionship of the Holy Roast regardless of our shortcomings. This explains the difference between the 'gift' and the 'influence' of the Holy Roast.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The gift of the Holy <i>Roast</i> is different from the influence of the Holy <i>Roast</i>. Before <i>actual immersion</i>, a person can feel the influence of the Holy Roast from time to time and through that influence can receive a testimony of the truth <i>simply by smelling the coffee</i>. After receiving the gift of the Holy <i>Roast</i>, a person has the right to the constant companionship of that <i>hot cup of jo</i>; <i>even if he or she does not</i> keep the commandments.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I want to leave you with my testimony of the tastiness of coffee. I have personally experienced the inspiration and warm feeling in my bosom that I'm absolutely positive is the inspiration of the Holy Roast. Amen</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-28285112146723133152013-05-01T07:56:00.003-07:002014-01-30T07:15:59.887-08:009 Star Ki Calculator<iframe width="600" height="625" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" src="https://skydrive.live.com/embed?cid=D46B96AF7C8D7280&resid=D46B96AF7C8D7280%21215&authkey=AAoyHxXAM7PXOnI&em=2&wdAllowInteractivity=False&AllowTyping=True&ActiveCell='Intro'!A1&wdHideGridlines=True&wdHideHeaders=True&wdDownloadButton=True"></iframe><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-38132039478087164202013-04-22T07:45:00.000-07:002013-05-15T07:08:35.781-07:00The Tolerance Trap<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UT3TCbfvde0/UWR5Y6rizwI/AAAAAAAAAKU/l3M0kSLavJI/s1600/mousetrap+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="174" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UT3TCbfvde0/UWR5Y6rizwI/AAAAAAAAAKU/l3M0kSLavJI/s200/mousetrap+%25281%2529.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><br />
<blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"We need to be careful of the'tolerance trap' so that we are not swallowed up in it."</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Tolerance is a virtue, but, like all virtues, when exaggerated it transforms itself into a vice..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">These are quotes from a recent talk given by Boyd K Packer, anti gay champion and General Authority of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, he is referring to the legalization of gay marriage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Seriously Mr. Packer? This is so "1984".</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.-- George Orwell, 1984</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Virtue is a vice.-- Boyd K Packer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have to give him points for creativity though; the 'tolerance trap' is a catchy phrase.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whatever you do, my child, don't be too loving or too tolerant because you might fall into the...da,da,daaaa, 'tolerance trap'.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He went on to say:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"The permissiveness afforded by the weakening of the laws of the land to tolerate legalized acts of immorality, does not reduce the serious spiritual consequences that result from the violation of God's law of chastity."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can't wait for 'legalized acts of immorality'. Oh, wait a minute, Mr. Packer, there are already plenty of 'legalized acts of immorality' some of them are lying, prejudice, sexism, bigotry, chauvinism, discrimination...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here's more wordspeak 1984 propaganda based on the beliefs of Boyd K Packer-- loving someone and wanting to be in a committed and loving relationship; enjoying equal rights under the law is an act of immorality.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-34770729703563101442013-04-09T09:26:00.000-07:002013-04-27T06:14:08.797-07:00Saints and Sinners<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin"</span></div>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_X4b4QNfP6gg/So1hxdRbq6I/AAAAAAAAACY/2tzT_RMbT8g/s1600-h/images.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span style="font-size: large;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372057432822098850" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_X4b4QNfP6gg/So1hxdRbq6I/AAAAAAAAACY/2tzT_RMbT8g/s200/images.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 99px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 132px;" /></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't like the phrase </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: center;">"love the sinner, hate the sin". It raises my blood pressure. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I find this phrase offensive on so many levels. I think those who use this phrase when referring to my sexual orientation mean well; in fact I think some feel they are being quite generous.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are people claiming to have the 'bigger picture' or the 'eternal perspective' yet these are often times the most narrow minded individuals. </span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They claim unconditional love while, at the same time, placing conditions on their love. I think this is where people lean on the 'love the sinner' argument. "I love you BUT...". When someone says "I love you but I don't agree with you", I get it; I think you can love people and not agree with them. However, when someone saying this actually means "I love you but I don't think you deserve the same respect, rights, rewards, etc... that I do; because you are not as righteous as I am." Thinking all the while</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> 'if only you knew what I know'; </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">t</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hen I don't get it, I don't agree with it and I get a bit worked up.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Disagree with me, think what you will of me but don't vote to pass legislation putting me and millions of others in a sub-category of people who don't deserve the same dignity, rights and privileges that you do. This is NOT loving the sinner; it's called being a bigot.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></i>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you use this phrase think first. Think about the person you are calling a sinner, then ask yourself if you are really the one on higher ground. When you decide you know what's best because you have an eternal perspective; ask yourself if there is room in your heaven for your judgement.</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-175531824642557992013-04-06T09:30:00.000-07:002013-04-27T06:14:08.788-07:00Definition of a Bigot<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here's a recent post of a facebook friend of mine. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Disagreement is not hate; high time we realize honoring man-woman marriage is not hatred or bigotry."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A good example of words used as trickery. The words, in and of themselves, are perfectly true. I will stand up for anyone's rights to disagree with me and I truly hope people will honor man-woman marriage; I do.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bigotry and hatred come in when you disagree so much with someone, or a group of someones, that you seek to withhold basic human rights and dignity from them. Or you express hatred and intolerance. Just saying; if the shoe fits...</span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3832968484796417459" name="more"></a><br /></span>
<i style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Definition of </span><span style="line-height: 20px;">BIGOT</span></span></i><br />
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<div class="sense-block-one" style="line-height: 20px;">
<span class="ssens" style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><strong>:</strong> a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially <strong>:</strong> one who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance.</i></span></span><br />
<span class="ssens"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">People have the right, in this country, to disagree, argue, speak out against things and I do not wish to see this right taken away from anyone. I'm sure that after gay marriage is federally recognized and legal in this country there will still be those who don't agree. Prejudice will remain, judgement will remain. However, I want my civil rights and I want the law to recognize my relationship and give it the same weight given to any other committed relationship.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So my 'friend' I don't disagree with your post taken literally; however, I do disagree with the sentiment of your post. I won't go as far as to call my friends who are against marriage equality bigots. But I will ask them to dig deeper into who they really are and rid themselves of their bigoted notions about homosexuality.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I saw two red squares on facebook during the supreme court hearings. One was a red square with an equal sign, (some were adorned quite creatively), the other was a red square with the 'man/woman' emblem. The more I thought about these two symbols the more I realized that one is all inclusive and the other is exclusive. I choose inclusion.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just one last word from me to those who choose exclusion. Tolerance does not feel like love, it feels like someone thinks they are better than you. I don't believe you are better than me and I don't believe your eternal rewards are better, or different, from mine. Amen</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-58568786187705200682013-03-29T03:51:00.000-07:002013-05-16T01:16:30.440-07:00The Gay Marriage Battle<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q4D253r4mVA/UVVx6QdgGVI/AAAAAAAAAIo/cjw1TGGim3U/s1600/equality+and+solidarity2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q4D253r4mVA/UVVx6QdgGVI/AAAAAAAAAIo/cjw1TGGim3U/s320/equality+and+solidarity2.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have been absorbed by the blog world. In particular the Ex-Mormon blog world. One of the blogs I have come to enjoy is<a href="http://irresistibledisgrace.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"> Irresistible (Dis)Grace</a>. I have found the author, Andrew, to be intelligent, respectful and eloquent. I agree with so much of what he writes and I enjoy his command for words; words that hold power and respect in balance. He has a protagonist named Seth who writes in opposition of whatever Andrew says. I don't ever agree with Seth but he is also respectful and intelligent.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recently Andrew wrote about '<a href="http://irresistibledisgrace.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/genderless-marriage-or-whats-in-a-frame/" target="_blank">Gay Marriage</a>'. I have some interest in this subject because I am gay and I have been in a committed relationship since 1997. I also know a thing or two about Mormonism and where many of the Mormon community are coming from. The string of comments on this post was interesting and it prompted me to write a comment as well.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another blogger I enjoy is '<a href="http://postmormongirl.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">A Post-Mormon Life</a>'. Post Mormon Girl has also recently posted about <a href="http://postmormongirl.blogspot.com/2013/03/marriage-just-makes-things-easier.html" target="_blank">Gay Marriage</a>. Thanks PMG :O).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wish this battle would end (and by end I mean gays achieve the right to marry at a federal level and this arduous process of each state duking it out ceases). I look forward to the day, and I believe this day will come, when sexual orientation isn't an issue and there is no question of equality.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Below is the comment I wrote on Andrew's post:</span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">IMO the gay marriage battle continues because some people believe being gay is wrong and others don't. The battle is primarily waged from these two camps. I have had numerous discussions with friends and spent countless hours trying to reason with those in the 'gay is bad camp' with no success. Their belief is so entrenched that the best I get is 'I love you but...' and eventually; I find myself grateful for that and I move on. I'm sure those friends feel the same way about me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My thoughts, though not unique or new, are that we need to separate church from state. (Sound familiar?) Civil rights belong to the state and the definition of marriage belongs to church. Mind you church has a broad and very diverse definition in this country.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What if the civil rights and protections, that are now connected to marriage, were connected ONLY to civil unions and church/religion had absolutely nothing to do with the civil ceremony. What if there were no civil rights connected to the institution of marriage at all; what if marriage was an optional ceremony. Everyone wishing to be in a committed relationship and enjoy the many civil rights now afforded to marriage would have to have a civil union. The government would govern civil ceremonies/unions.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone wishing to have a marriage could choose to do so in whatever church/temple/beach/vineyard they wanted. It wouldn't matter to some because there would be no rights or protections with marriage. Marriage would still carry special, and important, meaning to others based on individual beliefs. Churches would continue to choose who they will 'allow' to marry in their institutions and any couple desiring to get married could find a religion or secular venue that suits their belief system. Some people would choose not to marry at all because what is important to them is the commitment and the civil rights and privileges.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The legal requirement for civil rights would be shifted from religion to government and the spiritual and religious importance of marriage would be shifted from government to religion and individual belief.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What business does religion have in dolling out civil liberties and what business does government have in determining the meaning and importance of marriage?</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-41936904931407906232013-03-04T07:19:00.001-08:002013-05-16T01:08:33.163-07:00Why Do We Believe or Not Believe in God<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What I find fascinating about God and religion doesn't have anything to do with belief or proving that belief. What I find fascinating is the sociology and psychology of religion. What I truly fascinates me, is why people and societies are drawn to religion. I don't see the inclination to believe in God or a certain theology as a weakness or a strength; simply a mystery.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The point of this post is not to discover truth or unravel mystery or prove my point; it's simply my way of exploring the mystery of the human need to believe. I am not trying to explain my beliefs or to understand your beliefs. I want to explore why do we, or don't we, believe in God(s) or religion.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Maybe, as pointed out in some scientific articles I've read, it boils down to what kind of 'thinker' you are. An interesting idea, but it falls short of explaining why I have come to where I am in my thinking and my beliefs. I want to sum up one article I read this morning on <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/201302/what-kind-thinker-believes-in-god">cognitive thinking</a> and how the type of thinker you are leads to a belief, or disbelief, in God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A reflective thinker is someone who analyzes and is logical by nature; while an intuitive thinker is less reflective. The level of cognitive thinking can be partially determined by answering these three questions:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">THE COGNITIVE REFLECTION TEST </span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total. The bat costs $1.00 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If it takes five machines five minutes to make five widgets, how long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake? </span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The more correct answers you get indicates you are a reflective, or analytic, thinker and the less likely you are to believe in God or other spiritual phenomena. The fewer correct answers you get indicates you are an intuitive thinker and the more likely your are to believe in God. It's not a measure of intelligence but a measure of logic and analytic abilities. Of course if you are a science or math whiz you might easily come to more correct answers. Are there scientists and math genius' that believe in God? Yes there are; are there intuitive thinkers who don't believe in God; yes obviously. These are just indicators and inclinations. I'm definitely an intuitive thinker. I got every question wrong; however, once I saw the answers they made total sense and I was able to puzzle through the questions and come to the correct answers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are the answers: Five cents, five minutes, and forty-seven days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I also want to introduce <a href="http://www.helenfisher.com/">Helen Fisher</a>. Helen Fisher is a sociologist who through her studies has come up with four personality types. Her work is focused on 'who we love and why' but I think it applies to belief or non-belief in God as well. I love her work and I am fascinated by it's accuracy. I also know you can't put everyone into little boxes and know 100 percent every outcome.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are the four types:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Explorer:</b> Explorers are looking for adventure and change. That adventure is likely risky or thrilling but can also be more intellectual or cultural like taking classes or attending plays and symphonies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An explorer is likely to be well liked and charming. Someone who has a lot of friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An explorer is less likely to be tied down by commitment. They work so they can play, they enjoy going out and being with people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An explorer can be a good person to have on your team if you need new ideas and the fire of creativity and excitement.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules an explorer is likely to say "this doesn't really apply to me." or "oh yeah right…"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> Builder:</b> Builders are looking for stability and are very responsible individuals. They are willing to settle down and take care of business.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A builder is someone who will put work or religious responsibility first; sometimes before family and friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A builder is often times involved with a religious or political group. Someone who is a change maker.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a leader a builder will get things done with no nonsense. It is important to get things done correctly and with honesty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Builders have a commitment to moral standards. And for a builder morals can be very black and white.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules a builder will follow it because he/she knows there is a good reason for the rule or it wouldn't be there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> Director:</b> Directors are very logical and analytical minded people who can make sense out of any situation in short order.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Directors are decisive and make up their minds quickly based on facts and logic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Directors are straight-line thinkers and can cut through the 'nonsense' quickly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Directors have a commitment to things that make good common sense and to things they can understand in their logical minds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules a director will want to understand why the rule is put in place and will follow the rule if it makes sense and works for them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b> Negotiator:</b> Negotiators are web thinkers they explore ideas and love to engage in discussion or contemplation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A Negotiator will take a long time to make a decision and prefers to have time to think about a situation and doesn't enjoy pressure to decide</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Negotiators think outside the box constantly. They are multi-taskers and have a difficult time compartmentalizing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A Negotiator is a good person to have on a team because they see the big picture, they can see the consequences and they make plotted decisions that have been thought out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Negotiators are committed to finding the best situation in every area of their life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules a negotiator wants to know the 'higher' reason. And they will commit to the principal but not the rules. Rules only apply if they work for the greater good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Over the years I have put these personality types to the test and I continue to be impressed by their accuracy. You can take the <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/helen-fishers-personality-test.html" target="_blank">personality test here</a>. I am a negotiator/explorer. Let's interpret the four types as they relate to religiosity I presume that Explorers and Directors are less likely to believe in God and Builders and Negotiators are more likely to believe in God. Simply broken down this is how I draw my conclusions; Explorers don't like rules. Builders love rules and see things black and white. Directors are highly analytical. Negotiators are emotional and intuitive thinking.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Both the type of thinker we are and the personality type we lean towards are indicators of our inclinations towards God. However; life happens and many of us go beyond our inclinations to come to other conclusions. I'm an intuitive thinker and I test strongly as a negotiator. But through my life and my experiences I have come to a place in my life where I don't believe in God. Or at least I don't think it's important if there is a God or not. Even though I don't believe in God my intuitive nature still leans towards spiritual phenomena. I believe strongly in my intuitive nature which leads me towards all manner of woo woo. This could be my 'negotiator/explorer' as well. I think the factor leading me away from church/God/religion is that I score VERY low on builder qualities. I despise rules and see the world in technicolor not black and white.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My theory is far from scientific and it is not going to prove correct in every instance; however, I am pretty confident in my conclusions. It would be fun to do a facebook experiment and test all of my facebook friends, put them into four different lists for the personality types and two different lists for the type of thinker they are; then watch the status lines and the things people tend to post.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What do you think...</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-35881501039468847342013-03-04T07:19:00.000-08:002013-05-16T01:12:45.874-07:00Helen Fisher's Personality Test<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is Dr Helen Fisher’s test for your personality type.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Read each statement and choose the number that best describes your agreement by the following scale.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Please note the number choices are ZERO to THREE. Put your choice for each statement on a sheet of paper. After completing the test add up each section to determine your type. Try to answer as honestly as you can for who you are, not who you want to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(0) Strongly Disagree</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(1) Disagree</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(2) Agree</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">(3) Strongly Agree</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">SCALE 1</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. I find unpredictable situations exhilarating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. I do things on the spur of the moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. I get bored when I have to do the same familiar things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. I have a very wide range of interests.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. I am more optimistic than most people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. I am more creative than most people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. I am always looking for new experiences.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. I am always doing new things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. I am more enthusiastic than most people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. I am willing to take risks to do what I want to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">11. I get restless if I have to stay home for any length of time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">12. My friends would say I am very curious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">13. I have more energy than most people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">14. On my time off, I like to be free to do whatever looks fun.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">SCALE 2</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. I think consistent routines keep life orderly and relaxing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. I consider (and reconsider) every option thoroughly before making a plan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. People should behave according to established standards of proper conduct.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. I enjoy planning way ahead.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. In general, I think it is important to follow rules.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. Taking care of my possessions is a high priority for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. My friends and family would say I have traditional values.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. I tend to be meticulous in my duties.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. I tend to be cautious, but not fearful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. People should behave in ways that are morally correct.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">11. It is important to respect authority.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">12. I would rather have loyal friends than interesting friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">13. Long established customs need to be respected and preserved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">14. I like to work in a straightforward path toward completing the task.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">SCALE 3</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. I understand complex machines easily.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. I enjoy competitive conversations.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. I am intrigued by rules and patterns that govern systems.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. I am more analytical and logical than most people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. I pursue intellectual topics thoroughly and regularly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. I am able to solve problems without letting emotion get in the way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. I like to figure out how things work.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. I am tough-minded.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. Debating is a good way to match my wits with others.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. I have no trouble making a choice, even when several alternatives seem equally good at first.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">11. When I buy a new machine (like a camera, computer or car), I want to know all of its technical features.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">12. I like to avoid the nuances and say exactly what I mean.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">13. I think it is important to be direct.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">14. When making a decision, I like to stick to the facts rather than be swayed by people's feelings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">SCALE 4</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. I like to get to know my friends' deepest needs and feelings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. I highly value deep emotional intimacy in my relationships.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. Regardless of what is logical, I generally listen to my heart when making important decisions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. l frequently catch myself daydreaming.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. I can change my mind easily.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. After watching an emotional film, I often still feel moved by it several hours later.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. I vividly imagine both wonderful and horrible things happening to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. I am very sensitive to people's feelings and needs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. I often find myself getting lost in my thoughts during the day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. I feel emotions more deeply than most people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">11. I have a vivid imagination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">12. When I wake up from a vivid dream, it takes me a few seconds to return to reality.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">13. When reading, I enjoy it when the writer takes a sidetrack to say something beautiful or meaningful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">14. I am very empathetic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Scale 1 = <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/personality-types-defined-helen-fisher.html" target="_blank">Explorer</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Scale 2 = <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/personality-types-defined-helen-fisher.html" target="_blank">Builder</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Scale 3 = <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/personality-types-defined-helen-fisher.html" target="_blank">Director</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Scale 4 = <a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/personality-types-defined-helen-fisher.html" target="_blank">Negotiator</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/why-do-we-believe-or-not-believe-in-god.html"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Back to main post</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Take the two highest scores as your results. ie... NEGOTIATOR/explorer, etc...</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3832968484796417459.post-60199123129599330892013-03-04T04:00:00.000-08:002013-11-09T05:41:16.895-08:00Personality Types Defined--Helen Fisher<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Explorer:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Looking for adventure and change. That adventure is likely risky or thrilling but can also be more intellectual or cultural like taking classes or attending plays and symphonies.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An explorer is likely to be well liked and charming. Someone who has a lot of friends.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An explorer is less likely to be tied down by commitment. They work so they can play, they enjoy going out and being with people.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An explorer can be a good person to have on your team if you need new ideas and the fire of creativity and excitement.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules an explorer is likely to say "this doesn't really apply to me." or "oh yeah right…"</span></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Builder:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Looking for stability and are very responsible individuals. They are willing to settle down and take care of business.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A builder is someone who will put work or religious responsibility first; sometimes before family and friends.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A builder is often times involved with a religious or political group. Someone who is a change maker.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a leader a builder will get things done with no nonsense. It is important to get things done correctly and with honesty.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Builders have a commitment to moral standards. And for a builder morals can be very black and white.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules a builder will follow it because he/she knows there is a good reason for the rule or it wouldn't be there.</span></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Director:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Logical and analytical minded people who can make sense out of any situation in short order.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Directors are decisive and make up their minds quickly based on facts and logic.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Directors are straight-line thinkers and can cut through the 'nonsense' quickly.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Directors have a commitment to things that make good common sense and to things they can understand in their logical minds.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules a director will want to understand why the rule is put in place and will follow the rule if it makes sense and works for them.</span></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Negotiator:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Web thinkers they explore ideas and love to engage in discussion or contemplation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A Negotiator will take a long time to make a decision and prefers to have time to think about a situation and doesn't enjoy pressure to decide</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Negotiators think outside the box constantly. They are multi-taskers and have a difficult time compartmentalizing.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A Negotiator is a good person to have on a team because they see the big picture, they can see the consequences and they make plotted decisions that have been thought out.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Negotiators are committed to finding the best situation in every area of their life.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it comes to rules a negotiator wants to know the 'higher' reason. And they will commit to the principal but not the rules. Rules only apply if they work for the greater good.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/why-do-we-believe-or-not-believe-in-god.html"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">back to the main post</span></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="http://thoughtspercoffee2.blogspot.com/2013/03/helen-fishers-personality-test.html"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">back to the test</span></a></div>
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">When commenting remember the three "R's":
Respect, Responsibility, Right Choices</div>Just Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17617582702842642998noreply@blogger.com